The World Is a Safe Place – Or Is It?

There’s a lot of research showing that teaching our kids that the world is dangerous is detrimental to their mental health. Instead, the research suggests that we should teach our kids that the world is a safe place where they can thrive.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been trying to do this for years and it’s very hard for me to sell this idea to my kids when it’s not something that I actually believe.

Not to mention, our kids are smart and it feels disingenuous to tell them something that contradicts what they can see with their own eyes. I mean, they’re doing active shooter drills in school, we install alarm systems in our homes, they may hear the news, and so on. And the truth is our world is full of dangers.

Additionally, our kids are born with an extremely accurate sense of safety and self-preservation, which constantly scans the environment for danger and drives them to seek connection to people who can protect them and keep them safe. So, the last thing I want to do is tell my kids that their instincts are wrong and they shouldn’t trust their bodies and innate wisdom.

So that got me thinking. 

What if what’s important is not necessarily believing that the world is safe, but instead that we are equipped to handle it? 

In other words, what if we put our attention not on the environment, but on ourselves and our inner resources?

What if our kids knew that there is a corner in this world where we are safe, loved, and accepted? What if they knew who the people they can trust are, and who will help them when they need it?

What if they trusted that their actions matter and that they can impact their own lives?

What if they could believe that they’ll be okay? If they could believe in their competence, agency, and resourcefulness.

The most helpful thing anyone said to me when I was having a hard time was: “You are resourceful. You will find a solution no matter what happens. And you are not alone.” 

The whole world may not be safe. But you have your corner of the world that is safe for you. And you know how to interact with the rest of the world in a way that is conducive to growth and peace. You will be okay.

How much more peaceful and calm would you feel if you knew in your heart that that is true?

So, I believe that there are a few things that we can do to help our kids:

1. Coach our kids to be problem solvers by teaching them life skills.

2. Help them believe in themselves by knowing they can have an impact on their lives.

3. Show them where to go for help.

4. Nurture relationships and build a circle of trusted people around them that they can turn to when in need.

5. Be the safe base that our kids can turn to anytime.

Let me once again clarify that I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell our kids that the world is a dangerous place. It is never okay to show young kids horrific news. Our job is to protect our children. 

Instead, our focus should be on building their abilities, connections, and self-worth as we prepare them for the world. 

We never throw our kids into the flames so they’ll toughen up and learn to fend for themselves. We walk alongside them and impart our wisdom until they are ready to walk by themselves.