Stretch the Little Moments
My kids went back to school after winter break this week.
Sunday night, my kids were very anxious about returning to school. Winter break started a bit rough for us. But by the end of it, we were in a pretty good flow and the kids were really sad to leave the nice rhythm we had gotten into.
At bedtime, I reminded them to leave their worries about the next day and to bring their attention to where their bodies were: here and now. I encouraged them to pay attention to the present moment and to savor it: the comfortable bed, being under the warm comforter, in our safe bedroom, all of us snuggled together. By putting our attention here, we could slow this moment down, stretching it to make it last longer. It helped them relax and fall asleep.
My daughter wanted to lie on my legs while I was reading to them. She fell asleep there. I waited until after 10 to put her down. I wanted to hold on to this goodness for as long as I could.
When my legs went almost numb and it was time for me to go to bed, I lifted my daughter in my arms and, before putting her down, I looked at her, holding her just as I used to when she was a baby. In the darkness, I could make out her little face and I remembered my amazement when she was born!
When I first held her in my arms, I couldn’t believe how tiny her face was! Her face seemed to be as round and small as an apple. She has the same features now, the same small face, and rounded chin. Just slightly bigger.
I miss holding her little baby body in my arms for those sleepy nighttime feedings followed by a few minutes of playful and immensely loving gazes and gurgles.
Soon she will be too big for me to lift in my arms.
I try to remind myself to catch and stretch these moments of love and awe that show up delicately at the periphery of my attention. They fill me up and help me pour more love into my kids.
The purpose of this story isn’t to make you feel pressured to savor every little moment with your child.
Sometimes parenting can feel really hard and challenging and we don’t seem to have an ounce of energy and attention to devote to anything other than ourselves.
If this is your case, take the time to acknowledge that and give yourself lots of loving compassion. In my post When Mom Is Having a Hard Time, I talk about how impossible it is for us to feel deeply connected to others when we are disconnected from ourselves. We need to take care of ourselves first, so we can open our hearts to receive the beauty and love around us.
So, go ahead and take the time to give yourself loving care and attention.
And then, slow down and try to find those little moments to remember how much you love your kids and what a special, irreplaceable bond you have. You have so much love inside you! Allow it to heal and nourish you inside and out.
